Friday, June 17, 2011
Bringing me back.
My yoga practice today brought me back to myself. When I say this, I simply mean that when my mind is so cluttered, so unclear, so overwhelmed with thoughts flying in and out like a wildfire, it is really difficult for me to feel like myself. I have been going through a difficult time and have been allowing myself to be afraid of change, instead of fully embracing it. Although I know I may forget sometimes to do this, today I have realized how much left of my life there is to live. It is so silly of me to think that just because things are not the way I was expecting them to be, so suddenly and abruptly, that things are really that bad.
Sure, things don't go the way we want them too in our lives. For me, I was in a relationship that was up and down, but to me, it was always worth fighting for regardless of how angry I would get sometime. But for the other person, it was not worth it. At first, that made me angry and it made me sad, etc. I didn't understand why, there were no concrete reasons. To my knowledge, we loved each other and wanted to be there for one another, through thick and thin.
But something came into my consciousness, somewhere between my yoga practices, runs, bike rides and journaling-- God will not allow me to stay stuck with someone if He knows there is someone else out there for me that will fit me so much better. Regardless of when he comes into my life, I will be able to look back on right now and say, Aha, ok God, I get it now. And I will be so thankful that things did work out this way. This is my chance to free myself, to get out in the world and use my life- my mind, my heart, my body- in all the ways that God has put me here for. He did not put any of us here to waste away and drown in nostalgia, wondering why things are this way.
He put us here to reveal our true selves to the world, to experience people and the environment, to share and receive love with those who deserve it, to expand our minds and use it to our advantage and not self-destruction. It is so important to be true to ourselves and to never lose site of who we are in our core. We cannot compromise ourselves, because, after all, we are our very own best friends.