Thursday, March 10, 2011

Be here. Now.

Something I have learned in yoga is to be present. If only I could always remember to do that when I am off the yoga mat. If only I could stop worrying about what may happen in the future and just take each day at a time. Sometimes, when I am on my yoga mat, I have this thought come into my head saying, "My God... simply focusing on the moment I am in, and not worrying about what happened yesterday or tomorrow, is so much better!" I am so much happier and joyful doing that. Why do I worry about tomorrow if I am not there yet? And then, when tomorrow comes, I'll be worrying about the next day? That sounds like a vicious cycle to me.

So, if we all make a conscious effort to take the "present momentness" off the mat (or just in general, for those who do not practice yoga), we will inevitably be happier beings. What I have found in the past week during my practices, is that it is okay to have visions of the future and to know there are tentative plans, but it is NOT okay to constantly obsess over what may or may not happen tomorrow (and in the far future). And I have found that Trust- Trust is the key to truly letting go of that mind chatter. Yoga helps me to let go of the self-doubt and helps me to open my heart, which I plan on listening to for the remainder of my years on earth to guide me where I am supposed to go.

My heart knows. My heart knows exactly where I want to go. It is my mind who is indecisive. I always tell people I am the most indecisive person I know and it absolutely drives me crazy. But that is simply my thoughts and my mind grasping at what if's, what now's, should I's? and so on. My heart knows the way. And yoga helps me to feel it and to really know where to go next, after graduating from college.

It's funny how reading spiritual writing can truly leave an imprint on my brain and the way I live my life. I read daily spiritual devotions from a book called Journey to the Heart by a woman named Melody Beade (I highly recommend this) that my mother gave me, every single morning. And a couple of days ago, it told me to follow my visions. The next thing I know, I was laying in Savasana-the meditation part of a yoga practice-envisioning this path way. I was wandering through a dark scary forest and finally saw this opening of a fresh light pouring into the darkness. And then, as tears poured out of my eyes and down my cheeks, I saw my visions, and I know where my heart wants to go. But for now, I am right here, Trusting.


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