Thursday, March 24, 2011


I am graduating in one month from college. I have put my blood and sweat into my work. I love my work. I live and breath my work and it brings me all sorts of emotions- joy, dread, dissappointment, frustration, confidence, relief, and so on. I have given almost all of my entire being to journalism over the past few years, ever since I knew it was what I loved, and what I am pretty damn good at, most of the time.

Anyways, I'll cut to the chase. Last night, water was spilt all over my laptop. My laptop has EVERYTHING I have ever worked on or am in the process of working on. This is the worst possible time this could have ever happened to me. I am actually not the one who spilt the water, and I thought I was going to go insane when it happened. Tears instantly exploded from my eyes. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to pull all of my hair out. I cried and cried and cried. I was sad, angry, in shock, etc.

So, I passed out. I woke up this morning and prayed: "God, please help me to remain calm today. Please let it all work out, please let me be calm.. otherwise, I am going to lose it."

So far, so good. I am working hard today to stay grounded and to not get wrapped up in all of my emotions. My yoga class today was crucial. As I flowed through the class, I breathed in and out slowly and calmly. When my mind wanted to bring me to all of the works-in-progresses on my water-drenched computer, that are SO important at this point in time, I simply thought, "No, Mind, come back to the breath." Seriously, this may sound ridiculous, but that is what I did. And I felt better. The problem isn't fixed, and I am not sure if it will be fixed. And I don't know what I am going to do if it can't be. But, at least right now, I am calm and I am just putting all of my trust and faith in God for me to get through it without losing my sanity.

Thanks yoga.


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